The whole thing is just dumb. If it was me 5 to 6 years back facing this, I would have fought back and dish out more criticisms about them than you'll ever think I can. I can be very sarcastic and that's my flaw. I know I have a tongue that can cut people up and cause them to bleed. But it's really uncalled for now. The situation does not need to be worsened. At this point in time, my heart wishes for them more hurt and that's not biblical. So stop it, Van.
I thought I hated them. But the truth is, that person I hate most is myself. I don't love myself at all. That's why I used to hurt myself physically by cutting myself and that's also the reason why I allow people to abuse me verbally. I allow people to let their words hurt me instead of putting up my defense and be the care less self I am at times.
I hate myself for being so dumb and naive. Maybe that's why my parents are always so protective of me. Now i know why. How can I love others when I'm like that? How can i love my cell girls? Sometimes I even wonder if I truly love God. Maybe I don't. That's why I do stupid things that I know will upset Him. But I know He truly loves me.
So much hate Yet be filled With love that flows everlasting
Stop being a brat, Van. Grow up.
Countless falls and scratches Bruises, cuts and tears Seems a huge fuss Yet diminutive in Thy sight Get over it and move on. To my beloved cell girls, please don't follow my ugly footsteps. ):
mooo-ed
12:25 PM
Knowing Me
name is vanessa
birthday falls on the 4th of dec
email/msn addy is
vananny@hotmail.com
loves
the theatre & netball & chocolates
wants to be
what God wants me to be
